The Crack Burglar Of Hollywood Strikes Again?

February 2, 2011 / Posted by:

Lindsay Lohan’s fingers may still be stickier than the puddle of unidentified fluids White Oprah passes out on almost every single night. Everybody has already been warned to put THE CLUB on your valuables whenever LiLo comes around, but some figured that she changed her ways since Betty Ford SAVED HER. Well, a store in Los Angeles is finding out that there’s a good chance LiLo’s snatchin’ hands are still snatchin’ (I apologize for that early morning visual).

Radar Online reported last night that cops in L.A. requested a warrant to search LiLo’s Venice house for a piece of $2,500 jooree that went missing from a store she recently visited. A source says that surveillance video from the store shows LiLo wearing the necklace right before it went missing.

So, jewelry went missing and LiLo was the last one seen with it? Tell Jessica Fletcher to keep sipping her jasmine tea, because this case is already solved! Detective La Toya didn’t even bother lifting her magnifying glass. And it gets better.

Before the LAPD could even secure the warrant from a judge, one of Kleptohan’s friends brought the necklace in. The LAPD didn’t say what excuse Kleptohan used this time, but sources say that the store owner could still pursue charges and the case could go to the D.A.

I really can’t wait to read what kind of excuse LiLo pulls out of a bull’s ass to explain this one. THE JOOREE FOLLOWED HER HOME! SHE DOESN’T KNOW HOW THE JOOREE ENDED UP CLASPED AROUND HER NECK! HER DRUG DEALER WOULD ONLY TAKE NAME BRAND JEWELRY PIECES AS PAYMENT! THAT NECKLACE HATES THE LOHAN FAMILY AND IS TRYING TO DEFAME THEIR GOOD NAME! But seriously, when is LiLo going to step up her thieving game? Bitch is a straight-up amateur. Just walking out with the necklace on? LiLo needs to train Ali Lohan on how to make exact replicas using White Oprah’s fillings, Nana Lohan’s kidney stones and a can of silver spray paint. Bitch can’t even steal right!

SHARE
Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).

src="https://c.statcounter.com/922697/0/f674ac4a/1/"
alt="drupal analytics" >