Taking a break from his at-home rehab treatment, Charlie Sheen issued his first public statement and thanked his bosses at CBS for giving him a few weeks to try to curb his thirst for crack smoke and 21 and over juice.
“I have a lot of work to do to be able to return the support I have received from so many people. I want to say ‘thank-you’ to my fellow cast members, the crew of Two and a Half Men and everyone at CBS and Warner Bros., especially Les Moonves and Bruce Rosenblum for their concern and support. And to my fans, your good wishes have touched me very much. Like Errol Flynn, who had to put down his sword on occasion, I just want to say, ‘thank-you.’”
Very nice. But there’s probably a hidden message somewhere in that statement begging ANYONE to please hide a porn flip book in his script, because Charlie must get vagina in some kind of medium!!!!!!! And Charlie really doesn’t have to worry about putting his sword down. It’s been dull for months and it couldn’t cut the stray hair on a porn star’s landing strip. What Charlie should really do is put down the suitcase of coke for a minute. It’d help his hernia too.
And while I was researching this highly important news story, I read this little piece of info on the Charlie Sheen of the Golden Age of Hollywood, Errol Flynn:
Flynn had a reputation for his womanizing, consumption of alcohol and brawling. His freewheeling, hedonistic lifestyle caught up with him in November 1942 when two under-age girls, Betty Hansen and Peggy Satterlee, accused him of statutory rape. A group was organized to support Flynn, named the American Boys’ Club for the Defense of Errol Flynn (ABCDEF); its members included William F. Buckley, Jr.
If you’re interested, there’s a sign up sheet for the American Boys’ Club for the Defense of Charlie Sheen (ABCDEFULLOFSHIT) hanging on the wall in the back of 20-20 Video in Hollywood. Sadly, Charlie won’t buy you a Bentley or repeatedly blow crack smoke in your face if you join.