Cee-Lo Really Hates Us

Gwyneth Paltrow sang in Country Strong, sang at the Country Music Awards, sang on Glee, sang on Saturday Night Live and now she’s about to sing during the Grammy Awards on February 13th. Thanks to Fishstick’s incessant need to kick our ears with her GOOP warble, 2011 is turning out to be the year of the mute button. And you can partly blame the Violet Beauregarde of soul for this.

After Fishy sang a scrubbed version of Cee-Lo’s “Fuck You” on Glee, he asked her to record a new version of the song. There’s a good chance they will performance that version on the Grammys with the help of a few Muppets. Cee-Lo tells People that he developed a bond (smells like pit cream, undertit butter, flax seed oil and ear drum tears) with Fishy after she told him she is “really feeling and appreciating what I had done artistically. That was awesome to come from her and feel her energy.”

“Fuck You” used to be one of my favorite passive-aggressive songs to sing out in public whenever I needed to curse a trick out without cursing a trick out. If some asshole was talking too loud on his cell phone in line at the grocery store, you could start singing “FUCK YOU” and when he turned around to slap you in the mouth, you’d tell him that you were just trying to get Cee-Lo’s song out of your head. A perfect excuse. But now I can’t sing that mess without seeing Fishy’s “Scream mask covered with rare organic beeswax” face mouthing the words “FUCK YOU” at me. “Fuck You” is supposed to only make a one way trip from my head to GOOPVILLE. And now it’s going round trip! Fuck you for this, Cee-Lo!