Stepford Katie’s Jackie O Will See The Light Of Day!

The History Channel told the 8-hour long Kennedys mini-series to eff off after Caroline Kennedy and Maria Shriver threatened to sic the NOT THE ONE spirit of Little Edie on them. The soil in Jacqueline Onassis’ grave remained untilled….until now. Several networks including Showtime shut down the Kennedys biopic starring Greg Kinnear and Katie Holmes, but something called a ReelzChannel has breathed life into it and will air the $30 million series this April. Just in time for April Fool’s! The CEO of this ReelzChannel place had this to say to People:

“We don’t enjoy controversy or want to pick a fight, but the history is the history. When you watch this, there are incredible successes and unbelievable tragedies. The family stays together and they’re loyal to each other and to the country throughout the highest highs and the lowest lows.

The cast put their heart and soul into this, and with great care to accuracy of circumstances and visuals. We’re so thrilled and proud of being able to step up and help this story be told that they so carefully created.”

It was either ReelzChannel, or the producers were going to dub it in Spanish, add a few face slaps and “LAGARTES” and sell it to Telemundo for a box of chicles.

And no, I still don’t know what a ReelzChannel is. Maybe I stumbled onto it one night and we never exchanged names, but I have until April to find it again!