Some Illuminati Candy Raver Shit

Putting every single one of Ronald McDonald’s favorite drag wigs to the test, the Illuminati’s reigning princess, RiRi, gives head to a banana and humps a blow-up doll in her new video for “S&M,” which features Perez Hilton as her bottom bitch dog. This mess is trying to make you feel like you’re playing a game of Candy Land after injecting liquefied Pop Rocks into your eye veins and choking yourself with a Red Vine.

This shit reminds me of the time I thought I was buying Ecstasy at some dumb rave in the late 90s. An hour later, one of my friends, who also bought the wrong stuff, asked me if I was rollin’ yet. I lied and said I was as I sucked on a pacifier like a total poser moron. My friend burst my fake roll when she told me that she found out he sold us baby aspirin. That pacifier dropped out of my mouth faster than the “YOU DUMB BITCH” laughs leaped off her tongue.

Basically, this video is like baby aspirin disguised as the bad shit.