Kristen Stewart As Lois Lane?

February 1, 2011 / Posted by:

Hasn’t Margot Kidder been through enough?! I’m already cringing at the news that Kristen Stewart may play Snow White (more like Weed Green) on screen, and now here’s a rumor that she’s just one of the names being thrown around as a possibility for the role of Lois Lane. Shut everything down, so this doesn’t get to Margot Kidder!

Zack Snyder has already found a hot piece to stuff into Superman’s Spandex jeggings, and now he’s focused on finding the perfect Lois Lane who will hopefully have better hair than the sad mousy mop of dried shit string that was on Kate Bosworth’s head.

What’s Playing says that Anne Hathaway was offered the role, but she pushed it off her table in order to play Catwoman in The Dark Knight Rises. Since Zack’s first choice isn’t into that shit, he’s auditioning almost every young trick who’s been on the cover of Elle, Cosmo, Vogue or whatever in the past month including Malin Akerman, Rachel McAdams, Jessica Biel, Dianna Agron, Mary Elizabeth Winstead and KRISTEN STEWART!

This rumor must have originated in the brain of a Twihard before spreading all over the Internet. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think Superman ever dropped Lois Lane midair, because he could no longer take looking down and seeing her face twitch like she’s getting an enema in slow motion. Kryptonite is supposed to be Superman’s only deadly weakness. Unless, details got mixed up and Kristen is REALLY in talks to play a piece of Kryptonite. Now that I can see.

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