Kelly Bundy Is A Mom!

Didn’t it feel like Christina Applegate’s knocked up period lasted longer than the entire run of Samantha Who? (RIP Samantha Who?)? But the time finally came. Christina’s coochie did the Bundy Bounce and pushed out a baby daughter in Los Angeles last Thursday! Unfortunately, Christina didn’t name her kid “The New Allante” and I doubt she’ll dress her baby up in a leopard mini-skirt and a leather jacket when they pose for the cover of People Magazine in a few weeks. If only Kelly Bundy was a real person!

Christina actually gave her baby a normal name that doesn’t sound like a scent at Bath and Body Works or a character from a third-tier 1980s cartoon. The details from People:

“Actress Christina Applegate and fiancé, musician Martyn LeNoble, welcomed daughter Sadie Grace LeNoble on Thursday, Jan. 27, 2011, in Los Angeles,” the spokesperson said in a statement. “Mother and daughter are doing great.”

Adds someone close to the proud parents: “She’s a beautiful little girl, and they are so happy and in love with her.”

Just once, just once, I’d like to read a celebrity say some shit like, “Eh, she seems alright, but she’s kind of bitchy.” Kelly Bundy would’ve said that.

And Christina’s dude kind of has a Christopher Walken quality to him. You don’t know whether he wants to shoot you in the eyeball, molest your nipples or take you by the hand and gracefully dip you before licking your teeth.