Just two weeks ago, it seemed like Natalie Portman’s baby growing area was only the size of a pan of King’s Hawaiian bread (mmmm Hawaiian bread), but her bump came the fuck out at last night’s SAG Awards. Either babies grow really fast or Natalie is pregnant with a litter of Kardashians.
Although, it makes sense that Natalie’s only 3.5 months along and she’s already that big. Genius babies have huge brains. Seriously, that bump is probably 90% baby brain since Natalie is giving birth to the world’s biggest genius since Megan Fox. Basically, she’s going to push out a walking brain that will write a masterpiece novel and discover the cure for stupid before he/she blows the candle on his/her first birfday cake.
And Natalie’s stylist really needs to practice dressing the bump, because the ho just doesn’t know. Gay Al Reynold’s favorite toga gown was not meant to be worn with a baby bump.