Another day, another awards show, but the Directors Guild Awards in Los Angeles were something special, because the hypnotic Ronn Moss graced their presence. If you don’t know who Ronn Moss is, there’s a good chance your jaw is going to unlock itself and quit your ass. Ronn Moss is a LEGEND (legend = Ridge Forrester on The Bold and the Beautiful) and his jawline is equally as legendary. Ronn could cut off your panties and shape your bush into a heart with that jaw! Zoolander could pucker like Renee Zellweger giving fellatio to a Lemonhead, and he still wouldn’t get Ronn’s organically beautiful jawline!
You know how some dudes spend years in the gym trying to get that V muscle under their abs? Well, Ronn was naturally born with a V muscle and he didn’t have to lift one stupid weight to get it. Yes, Ronn’s V muscle on his face, but he’s still got it. I swear, watching Ron chew on steak fat is probably a magical and spiritual experience. Let me add that one to my bucket list.
Strangely enough, the Directors Guild Awards weren’t only held to pay tribute to Adonis Ronn’s jaw of marble. They also gave out awards and a bunch of blah blah bitches (besides Ronn, of course) showed up. In order: Claire Danes, Colin Firth, Andrew Garfield, Helena Bonham Carter, Natalie Portman with Darren Aronofsky, Trent Reznor, Peg Bundy, some beige thing and Sofia Vergara.