Demi Lovato Leaves Rehab

Demi Lovato has handed the baton over to Charlie Sheen, because as he went in she went out. Demi checked into rehab last November for cuttingsnortingdrinkingbodyhatingpushingetc and People says that she’s back home in L.A. today. Ashley Greene better watch her bitch Joe Jonas, because now that Demi has spent time on the inside (rehab is practically like prison to Disney toddlers) she’s ready to kick the shine off a trick and steal her piece back! Sidebar: Why the fuck do I know so much about these children’s person lives! But I digress.

The source tells People that Juanita Solis’ sister will still see doctors to wade through all of her issues, “For now, she is getting back to her regular routine and spending time with her family and close friends. She is so grateful to all of her fans for their support, and looks forward to being able to talk to all of them very soon. Demi will continue to focus first and foremost on her well-being.”

Demi dropped into rehab after she whooped a trick dancer and there were rumors that she screamed at Ashley Greene and possibly drunk fucked a strange dude on top of a bunk bed in the middle of a party. It had all the makings of an after-school SCANDAL, and yet nothing came of it. Demi quietly went off to get help and kept her lips closed to the media. No stories about Demi climbing the wall of her rehab center to steal a hobo’s 40. No stories about Demi choking out one of the technicians with a lamp cord. None of that! We should really look into getting a refund for this non-scandal. Lindsay Lohan totally spoiled us.