Maybe the Purecaf I inject directly into my temples every morning has yet to hit my brain, but is that a fresh field of stubble on Mo’Nique’s legs at the Oscar nomination ceremony in Beverly Hills this morning? Mo’Nique has long been a champion for the “FUCK RAZORS“ movement, so there must be a good reason for why she let a lady BIC scoot against her body. And by a “good reason” I mean A CHECK with a bountiful amount of zeros on it. I’d like to think that Mo’Nique didn’t make it easy. They had to hold Mo’Nique down on a sticky bed of NADS, play Jewel’s “Intuition“ backwards and threaten her with an Epilator if she didn’t let them shave her legs.
About that Epilator, one day we’ll have to talk about all the unfortunate experiences I’ve had with that devil tool. But I don’t know if we’ll ever get to have that conversation. The world is definitely changing for the worst now that Mo’Nique is no longer shampooing and conditioning her leg fur every evening.