Afternoon Crumbs

Jessica Simpson’s either really drunk or really constipated. Or both. – Lainey Gossip

Macaulay Culkin is not “sleeping” with the Spanish porn star he left a sex club with. No, she just licked his balls while he did anal with another porn star in the club. That’s all. – The Superficial

These pictures would be 100% less hot if they were able to speak – The Berry

CoCo’s taste in bikinis is still on the right side of elegant (site NSFW) – Drunken Stepfather

Tom Ford’s “staying at home” outfit only consists of his perfectly manicured face beard – Towleroad

Steve Harvey goes after Mary Harvey – Celebitchy

Screw Ceiling Eyes, where has her star of a mother been hiding? – Hollywood Tuna

Ashley Tisdale dressed like a toddler from the South going to an Easter party – Popoholic

Sooookeh and Beeeehl buying stuff – Popsugar

Obviously. – TDW

Ick. Nast. Etc. – ICYDK

Santana and that blonde twink from Glee might be singing into each other’s genitals – Just Jared

John Travolta wants to go to there (but who eats Doritos in a damn steam room?) – OMG Blog

Helen Mirren wants to frame Russell Brand’s chonies…and then donate it to the free clinic museum – I’m Not Obsessed

A gallery of damn lazy animals – Cityrag

Wubba wubba wub-don’t – SOW

Sophia Loren bringing her chichis out in Paris – Hollywood Rag

(Image via Pacific Coast News)