Because writing a tell-all about your sister’s life makes you an authority on creepiness, Madge’s brother Christopher Ciccone tells Radar that he thinks her fascination with humping babies is borderline creepy. Madge and Christopher haven’t exchanged words since his tell-all came out three years ago, so he has to deliver his thoughts on her personal life via the media. Madge is currently nursing 24-year-old French dancer Brahim Zaibat, and she burped Baby Jesus before that.
I guess, Madge isn’t going to ask Christopher to babysit her boyfriends after she finds out what he has to say about her choices:
“I guess if she continues to date all these much younger guys, it could start to look creepy. But I think that a lot of Madonna’s emotional needs are met by taking care of her children; these boyfriends must really be like a kind of distraction for her. She certainly isn’t following societal values, but then again my sister never has and probably never will either.”
Yes, Madge’s relationships with Baby Brahim and Baby Jesus could be used as inspiration for a Tales from the Crypt episode, but Christopher needs to shut his pumpple hole. Like Christopher would really turn down a 20-something twink’s offer to fuck him between his chins. Nope. Christopher would not turn that chin fucking offer down.