Mary Harvey Is The New Tricia Walsh-Smith
Okay, so Mary Harvey is not totally like Tricia Walsh-Smith completely. Watching Tricia Walsh-Smith is like watching a sun damaged ostrich high on bath salts. Mary Harvey is more like a well-behaved French bulldog on human ludes. But both Tricia and Mary are fighting the same fight. Both want the truth of their asshole ex-husbands out there! Just like Tricia, Mary has taken to YouTube to spread her truth to the public. Mary goes hard on her ex-husband Steve Harvey and paints him as a cold-hearted man skank who dropped her for his side piece Marjorie (it’s always a MARJORIE!) and then turned her own son against her. Based on that description alone, you just know Tyler Perry has already bought the film rights to Mary’s YouTube Channel. Tyler is going to write, direct, produce and play both MARY and STEVE.
Mary goes on to say that her marriage died the day she accidentally received a filthy, dirty letter from Marjorie to Steve. Shortly after that, Steve put Mary out and moved Marjorie in. Mary says that she was with Steve when he had nothing and the two built their fortune together, but he didn’t even give her a roll of toilet paper to wipe her ass with when their marriage ended. Steve left Mary homeless and broke.
Mary decided to set the shit straight in a series of YouTube confessionals, because Steve has filed a lawsuit against her. Steve, who thinks he’s some sort of relationship expert, claims that Mary is the reason why he didn’t get a show on Oprah’s network. Since Mary’s going around talking about Steve’s passing the peen antics, Oprah didn’t think he was the right person to be giving relationship advice on her network. To which I say….why not?! I mean, I’d pay good money to see Tiger Woods read from Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. Not because I’m looking for relationship advice from Tiger Woods, but because that shit would be funny.
Mary says a lot more and you can press “play” if you need to know what that more is. I went as far as I could. It was kind of hard to watch, because the only question that kept pounding into my head was: “MARY, why the fuck did you wear that shade of lipstick for your YouTube debut?!” That lipstick makes her look like somebody siphoned the life right out of her. Like Steve Harvey siphoned the life right out of her. Now that I think about it, that’s probably what Mary was going for. Points for that.