And God’s Response Was, “Just Stop!”

January 24, 2011 / Posted by:

Jessica Simpson got on her knees Saturday night, held her BlackBerry tight and then delivered a prayer Tweet to God thanking him for giving her such a wonderful gift. No, bitch didn’t thank God for giving her a billion dollar fashion line even though she dresses like a fat toddler from the early 80s. Jessica also didn’t thank God for giving us the all-you-can-eat baked potato bar. This is what Jessica thanked God for:

Saying my prayers before bedtime…Thank you Lord for blessing me with a Man that has the perfect Tush…laying my hands upon it with peace 🙂
2:56 AM Jan 23rd via ÜberTwitter

And you thought you got a lot of useless shit in your inbox. This is the crap God has to deal with. Just when he marked Jessica’s prayer as SPAM, he probably got a prayer from Papa Joe Simpson that read: “Thank you Lord for blessing me with a daughter with hands that lay upon her man’s perfect tush as I peek into their bedroom in the middle of the night.”

via People

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