Aaron Carter Is In Rehab

You might have been wondering why you haven’t seen sexually frustarted Aaron Carter caressing his cheek against satin panties in the intimate section at Bealls (you know he does) lately. That’s because the Justin Bieber of 2000 checked into a rehab clinic in Southern California a couple of weeks ago. Aaron’s party is officially fucking over. Call your parents and tell them to pick you up.

Aaron’s manager Johnny Wright confirms to E! News that he made the decision to dry out and get his shit together:

“Several months ago Aaron came to me to help him return to music and to restart his career. He has been in Orlando working on a new album and perfecting his live show and his physical body. Aaron, understanding the challenges and hard work it would take to get himself back to the top, requested to take some time before we started to heal some emotional and spiritual issues he was dealing with. Therefore he has chosen to enter a facility where he feels he will get the guidance and cleansing he needs that will help him on the music journey he’s about to take. He asks that everyone keep him in their prayers and that they respect his privacy at this time.”

Johnny didn’t say what Aaron’s bad shit of choice is, but I think it’s safe to say that you’d test positive for meth if you licked the sweat off his jerky-fied body or sucked on the vein boner on his forehead. And no, you’re not the only one who would hit it. The bulging forehead vein, I mean. Not Aaron.