The matching pearl choker and cuff Kim Richards’ crazy ass wore to Taylor Lipstrong’s birthday party during the season finale of The Real Jackie Collins’ Characters of Beverly Hills. Yesterday’s Hot Slut spot was taken up by Giggy and there’s no way I could ignore the Beverly Hills Teens Goes To Prom GLAMOUR Kim delivered on Thursday night. When she first showed up in a dress she bought on clearance at Illustria (aka the rival department store in Mannequin), my soul nearly swole up like Taylor’s bottom lip. But then I fell backwards into a glass cabinet at Zales when I got a glimpse of the double pearl whammy!
Kim probably bought that duo of elegance with her “Hello, Larry” money and she whips it out whenever she wants to knock hos off their feet. This is what Prince was talking about when he wrote “Diamonds & Pearls.” This is also what Jerri Blank would look like if she showed up to a Dynasty-themed funeral wake.
And when Kim and her sister Kyle had a meeting in the limousine (cue Giggy and Cedric humming “Meeting in the Ladies Room“), the twinkle from her pearl choker perfectly synchronized with the Pinot-glazed insane glare in her eyes.
My favorite part was when Kyle Richards lunged at Kim the way her niece Parasite Hilton lunges at an 8-ball. Kyle wanted to choke the crazy out of Kim, but she knew better than to touch that glorious piece of pearl art. Don’t ever try to mess up a pearl bukkake party.