The Randomness Never Ends

January 21, 2011 / Posted by:

A fourth remake of A Star Is Born starring Beyonce has been in the mind of Hollywood for a long time, but now that they’ve snorted a line of Clint Eastwood, it’s alive again. Deadline Hollywood is flirting with April 1st by reporting that Warner Bros. has somehow convinced Clint Eastwood of all pepaws to produce and direct A WIG IS BORN with Beyonce taking the Janet Gaynor-Judy Garland-Barbara Streisand role. No word yet on who will play the drunk has-been opposite Beyonce, but I suggest that they complete the trifecta of WTF by casting The Hoff or Gary Busey (who was in the 1976 one) or Amy Wino or Arthur the Drunk Puppet.

Deadline says that Will Smith was thinking of taking the lead dude role at one point, but recently the names Robert Downey Jr. and Jon Hamm have been brought up.

Are they trying to push Liza off the wagon again? This has the potential to crawl past Showgirls on the ladder of sparkly disasters. Never mind that Beyonce has the acting skills of a wind-up toy on its last wind, I have faith that this soon-to-be bedazzled bomb will try to distract us with sequins and wigs. Oh, the lace fronts will be plentiful in this shit. When production starts, we’ll all mysteriously wake up bald and later recognize our follicles on Beyonce’s head when a Star Is Boring hits the $3 theater.

Clint can’t go wrong if his version of A Star Is Born includes a cat fight scene between Beyonce and Ali Larter and another cameo by Sally Kirkland. Oh, and Clint needs to throw a little Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil in there by casting The Lady Chablis as Beyonce’s younger sister.

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