Errr, Your GOOP Is Showing

January 21, 2011 / Posted by:

It’s a good thing Gwyneth Paltrow had on her favorite pair of $400 “working mother” panties made from the cocoons of organic mulberry silkworms, or else we’d all get a clear shot of her apple maker. Then Fishsticks would have to write a detailed piece in GOOP on how she keeps it shiny and fit. You know, she’d go on about how she gives it a spoon of flax seed oil every morning, reads it French poetry before bedtime and does at least 3 hours of the Kegel portion of The Tracy Anderson Method every single day. Fishy’s chocha will always be better than your chocha and we don’t need to see the reasons why in writing. And speaking of…

The NYDN talked to Abbe Diaz, a former Manhattan maitre d’ who is shopping a tell-all book around. Abbe has served Fishy at least 6 times in a 4-year period and pretty much calls her a snobby lady of refinement who won’t even spit at you unless you’ve been moisturizing your skin with Creme de la Mer nightly. Fishy cares about her saliva too much to subject it to anything less.

Diaz says the actress has a “passive-aggressive comportment … meant to unnerve the plebeians.”

“If you’re not worthy, it’s like you’re not there,” the author tells us, although she adds, Paltrow “likes boys” – servers, that is – “as long as they’re cute and sweet.”

Yup. That’s the bitch we all know and love to write long hateful blog posts about!

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