The Texting Fountain Lady Comes Out

Well, what do you know? The girl who fell into a mall fountain, because she wasn’t paying attention while texting is not a 20-something text addict like I originally thought. She’s a 49-year-old born again Christian who is putting together a lawsuit against the Berkshire Mall in Wyomissing, PA for laughing at her fail instead of checking to see if she’s alright.

Cathy Cruz Marrero, who just started a job at the mall, tells The Reading Eagle (via DM) that she was texting a message to a church friend when suddenly she found herself with a face full of water and fountain pennies. Cathy shook off her embarrassment and shuffled off without knowing that the security footage would soon be seen by over a million laughing hos. Cathy is not amused.

“My issue is I don’t think security was professional because they didn’t send anyone to check on me until 20 minutes later and I had already left. Instead of laughing, they should have said, ‘Is she OK?’ and been down there right away to check on me.”

Cathy’s lawyer adds that they are investigating the “incident” and will take legal action:

“We are troubled by the fact that anyone at the Berkshire Mall responsible for releasing this video would find humor in an employee injured on the premises. We intend to hold the appropriate persons responsible. No one from that security office came to her aid in a timely manner.”

When Cathy talked to security management, they said that the video isn’t a big deal because you can’t recognize her face. But Cathy claims that a friend from church called her that night to see if she was okay, because he recognized her walk.

Recognized her walk?! The sky just flickered, because Jesus made a “SAY WHAT?!” face.

99.9999% of us wouldn’t have ever known the woman in that video is 49-year-old Cathy Cruz Marrero of Pennsylvania if she didn’t come forward. Doesn’t Cathy know that in some cases, if you don’t admit it, it didn’t happen. When I fart in a crowded elevator you don’t see me raising up my hand and admitting guilt. You see me throwing a “YOU NASTY!” face at everyone around me.

And since Cathy is a Christian, she should view her fountain fall as an encore baptism. That’s a beautiful thing.