This is about as shocking as the time Taylor Swift found out that storks really aren’t flying uteruses (she found this out last night). Here we were all thinking that Taylor and Jakey Gyllenhaal’s connection to each other is solely powered by caffeine and diuretics. This isn’t so, because People says that Taylor and Jakey ate a meal together last night and as far as we know cups of coffee were not served. Although, there’s a good chance they ate mole sauce and tiramisu.
A witness-type tells People that Jakey and Taylor had dinner at Bound’ry restaurant which is near her apartment in Nashville. They sat in the back and the witness gave up these highly important CNN breaking news details about their time together, “They did eat. They were cordial to one another, but not affectionate.”
Jake and Taylor are bold bitches for opening up their contract re-negotiations in a public restaurant! Or maybe Taylor asked Jake there because a stork has been flying around her bedroom window lately and she was afraid that maybe she open-mouth kissed with him for too long (that’s when he broke the news about the stork thing to her). Or maybe Taylor asked Jake there to let him know that she has anal warts. Or maybe they’re just friends and they’re tricking us all. Or maybe you really don’t give a dick about this, so why don’t you watch this video of a horse trying to do butt sex with a tree.
No, it’s not a lost scene from Sex and the City 2.