Ke$ha Could’ve Taught A Sex Education Class At The Age Of 7

January 18, 2011 / Posted by:

While most of us were digging for Indian clay in the sandbox during recess, Ke$ha was off writing her second grade book report on the Kama Sutra, because bitch claims she knew EVERYTHING about sex before she was 7. Yeah, I’m sure that book report earned her two golden boot medals on her teacher’s mountain of achievement poster. The bumper sticker on her mom’s car read: “Proud parent of a 7-year-old Sue Johanson.

Ke$ha bragged about this elementary school fuckery to The London Times on Sunday (via NYDN):

“I knew everything about sex before I was even 7. My mom left me at home when I was 14 with a credit card and a box of condoms and the keys to the car and said, ‘Don’t get pregnant and don’t drink and drive. I had to be responsible for myself.”

KeShift4ha is not only full of John Travolta’s features, but she’s also full of shit too. I mean, I’m at least 4 years older than 7 mentally, I could probably correctly answer at least 90% of the clues in Jeopardy’s “Slut Shit” category, and I’m still learning new things about sex. That Fraggle Rock dumpster diver needs to stop.

Hopefully, Ke$ha’s mom is still leaving a box of condoms on the kitchen counter….along with a bottle of RID and Hazmat-made bar soap.

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