Ricky Gervais Is Still Alive

Ricky Gervais’ face is on a WANTED poster currently being passed around by the Offices of Xenu, but he didn’t seem to mind when he flaunted his eclipse-like nipples and sucked-in stomach for Ellen this morning. Ricky can put those International Male chonies over his head later when he needs to block the thetans from digesting his thoughts. Ricky can also wear this when he hosts the Golden Globes again next year. Even though the president of the HFPA says that Ricky crossed the line, I’m pretty sure he’s coming back next year. This is what the HFPA president told HuffPo:

“He definitely crossed the line. And some of the things were totally unacceptable. But that’s Ricky. I had absolutely no idea what Ricky was going to say so anything I heard was heard was the same time you heard it. When you hire Ricky Gervais, you expect the unexpected.”

Grab each one of your face cheeks and flap them against your teeth really fast. That is the same sound that echoed through the HFPA’s offices this morning from the president fapping at all the attention they’re getting. They are loving this shit. Dude is slapping Ricky’s hand with a ruler in front of all of us, but behind the scenes he’s probably telling that ho to offend everybody next year. If the Beliebers don’t threaten to run Ricky over with their baby walkers and the Twihards don’t record themselves attacking his pictures with their plastic fangs on, he hasn’t done his job!