Kobayashi ain’t got shit on Oprah. The Mighty O tells Piers Morgan in an interview airing on CNN next Monday that she pretty much devoured a Kraft factory after she found out that her movie Beloved bombed at the box office. Even Oprah gets a shock when Oprah fails at something. So she dealt with it the only way she knew how at the time. Oprah let out a roar that rattled the kitchen cabinets and out poured tons of macaroni noodles and blocks of cheese. Oprah says that she ordered her chef to fill up the wheelbarrow with mac and cheese and BRING IT TO HER NOW! Oprah just kept eatin’ and eatin’ and eatin’…..and I’ll let her explain it to you in her words:
“I’m not in the movie business. I did this movie because I was passionate about it. I didn’t know that you had that weekend and that is it. So I am thinking that if people don’t go this weekend, that people will go see it next weekend.
It premiered on a Friday and I remember hearing on Saturday morning that we got beat by something called Chucky. I didn’t even know what Chucky was. I asked my chef at the time, Art Smith, to make some macaroni and cheese.
I ate about 30 pounds worth. I’m not kidding! It’s the only time in my life I was ever depressed. I recognized I was depressed because I’ve done enough shows [to know], ‘Oh, this is what those people must feel like. I think the way life is set up for most people who have the opportunity to succeed, is that if you get the lesson, you don’t have to repeat that again.”
Little do we know that “Mac and Cheese” is really Oprah’s pet name for Gayle. But really, at least Oprah has someone on payroll who will fill up her bathtub with a mound of carbs that weighs more than a small child. Even poor Jennifer Aniston has to pull out the salad bowl and fill it with Easy Mac and Smart Water by herself!
Shit, if I had a personal chef, I’d tell him to make 30 pounds of mac and cheese just because. Of course, I’d ask him to sprinkle a bag of Utz broccoli chips on top so I can get my daily dose of Vitamin C. I do care about my health, you know!