Chet Haze Is Taking Over The Rap Game!

Specifically, the rap game at Northwestern University. Specifically specifically, the rape game among sons of Hollywood movie stars who happen to go to Northwestern University. Chet Haze’s government name is Chet Hanks and he’s Tom Hank’s other son. Yeah, don’t ask me how he came up with the name Chet Haze. That sounds like a condition Lisa from Weird Science suffered from after inhaling Chet’s shit fumes.

Chet has had roles in the Bratz movie and Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls, but he’s put his acting skills aside to focus on his new career as a frat boy MC. Gawker tells us that Chet Haze’s first single called “White & Purple (Northwestern Remix)” is a wig snatch of Mo Greene’s “White & Purple (NU Anthem 2010).” Listen for yourself:

This mess sounds like a song Barney might bust out to teach the kids about equality, but it’s seriously embedded in my brain now. I know I’m going to wake up in the middle of the night mumbling “whiteandpurplewhiteandpurplewhiteandpurple” over and over again.

And of course, I’d hit it until I’m whiteandpurplewhiteandpurple.