BABIES For Everyone!!!

If rain isn’t falling from the sky then snow is. If snow isn’t falling from the sky then dead birds are. If dead birds aren’t falling from the sky then BABIES!!!!! are. One of those BABIES!!! falling from the sky used to be a tiny spermling hanging out in Owen Wilson’s nutsack. Owen Wilson’s rep confirms to Entertainment Weekly that his 42-year-old ass is going to become a father for the very first time. The mother of his child is his girlfriend of a year Jade Duell.

Owen’s rep basically just confirmed that Jade’s knocked up and said that both of them are really happy. Thankfully, he kept it simple and didn’t say they were “Over the Moon” happy. One of Owen’s friends tells UsWeekly that Jade is due any day now.

My only thought about this news is that it sort of sucks that Owen’s nose didn’t come naturally (he broke it in a high school football accident). I mean, I know that if I was a baby I’d want a nose that looks like a pinched and crooked peen with an extra long urethra.