Norma Desmond Resurfaces!!!!

January 9, 2011 / Posted by:

Pull out the spotlight and prepare to fall back into a pool, because glamour has arrived from the backseat of a chauffeured Rolls Royce. This is Oliver Stone and his perfectly manicured jewel of a mother Jacqueline Stone at the Palm Springs Film Festival last night. You know, I just spent way too long posting a million pictures (see below) from last night when all you really needed was THIS! Look at Madame Stone! Those eyebrows are always ready for their close-up at all times, Mr. DeMille! And Madame Stone’s natural animal magnetism could breathe life back into any dead monkey!

Why the fuck hasn’t Oliver put his mother in every single one of his movies?! Probably because he knows that all films are way too small to handle Madame Stone’s STAR POWER. More than likely.

And while I was doing research for this highly important story, I found this Oedipus mess from The Washington Post about Oliver and Madame Stone. Oliver’s second ex-wife Elizabeth talks about how Madame Stone taught her son the art of fapping:

“Jacqueline told me” — Elizabeth mimics a husky-voiced French woman — ” ‘He couldn’t relax and I had to show him.’ I was shocked that she loosed her wiles on a child — a little, sad, lonely, pitiful figure. So she robbed him of any chance to take possession of his own sexuality.”

It’s not clear — from detailed interviews with Elizabeth, Oliver and his mother Jacqueline — what actually occurred. Elizabeth claims that Jacqueline Stone touched her teenage son’s genitals and masturbated him. Jacqueline heatedly denies it. And Oliver offers this account: “I’m not embarrassed by anything in the incident. I was very naive, about 15, and my mother just basically, on a trip to France, asked me: ‘Have you ever tried masturbation?’ And she told me how to do it. I don’t remember that she touched my person. She acted it out. She made gestures in the air.”

In any event, Elizabeth theorizes that his mother’s raw sexual power over him — along with his father’s hiring a prostitute for him when he was 16 — seriously damaged his psyche.

“That little boy didn’t stand a chance of any sort of normal life,” says Elizabeth, who was married to Stone from 1981 until she kicked him out of their Santa Monica house — over his numerous extramarital flings — in 1994.

She has since discussed these incidents with him at joint therapy sessions. At one, she recounts, “the therapist’s jaw just dropped” when she complained that Jacqueline touched her then 5-year-old grandson’s penis in the bath, prompting Oliver to bring up his own strange experience with his mother. “The therapist said, ‘In this country, people go to prison for that.’ Oliver stormed out of the session shouting, ‘You’re all screwed up!’ ” (Oliver contends: “I was very calm.”)

Elizabeth, quit being a Betty Schaefer! You are obviously jealous that your beauty doesn’t make camera lenses jizz themselves like Madame Stone’s does. But seriously, my jaw would drop further too, but it’s already on top of my Ikea table from laying eyes on pictures of Madame Stone last night.

I’m just going to let her brows hypnotize those NOT RIGHT images out of my head.

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