Claudia Schiffer took her child to school in London this morning when the angels high up above caught a glimpse of the always beautiful Amy Wino with (NSFW) a hairy eye patch and a nipple out and they started to slobber drops of saliva everywhere. Claudia immediately rang up her driver/umbrella holder to pick her up, because she WILL LOSE EVERYTHING if rain falls on her head. Rain will ruin her golden locks, which will cost her a multi-million dollar L’Oreal contract, which will leave her homeless, and then where will she be?!
Not only that, but a toxic rain drop could dive into her Starbucks straw and poison her! She’s like half-unicorn or something, so she’s super fragile. Before you start bitching about how she should probably hold her own umbrella, look at that picture again. Claudia is carrying a huge Starbucks cup and an even bigger purse. And she’s doing both of those things while trying to look gorgeous as all hell. What more do you want from her? A person can only do so much!!