Hot Slut Of The Day!

Andrew Christian’s “Shock Jock Flirt Boxer and Brief” – The underwear with a built-in sculpted peen cup! It’s perfect for dudes who suffer from a case of dignity excess and need to be brought down a lot. Or it’s perfect if you’re Jon Gosselin and sick of chicks at the bar asking if you’re a Ken Doll down there after dry humping in a bar.

Refinery 29 describes Andrew Christian’s new padded crotch bra as a boxer or brief with “a soft hidden cup, sculpted into a penis shape (available in black or white models!), that adds around 2 inches to guy’s frontal measurement.”

But why only 2 inches? If you’re going to deliver the meaning of false advertising to potential fuck partners by stuffing a dick mirage down your chonies, why wouldn’t you go all the way? Screw 2 inches, go big! Give us a cup so large that it could double as a cake pan. Hmm. Although, the 2-inch model could be used as a Jell-O mold too. That is a selling point.

With all that being said, this is definitely a step in the right direction. Women have silicone cutlets, so why shouldn’t men have the same thing for their dire dick situations? I can’t wait until Spanx comes out with an anus girdle for droopy anuses.

And if you’re worried about being tricked by the cocks he DOESN’T got, simply give him a test-drive hand job at the bar before going home with him. That way NO fake dick bulges will get by you!