A video featuring a hooded man poking an extra-long stick at another dude with a piece of hard wood in his hand sounds like something that should make you Saran wrap your office chair and reach for the stamp wetter (a perfect lube substitute), but that is not the case here! This is surveillance footage from a Virginia convenience store of a battle between a robber wielding a huge ass stick and a store owner who used a hammer to defend his store. Robbery is usually no laughing matter, but come the fuck on! Who the hell does that dumb ass robber think he is? A fucking Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle? Fred Fucking Flinstone? Sticks belong in a ceramic vase in my old auntie’s front hallway, not in the hands of a thieving thief who shops for shoes at Uline.
This clip really should be in black & white with a Benny Hill soundtrack and subtitles in an old timey font. Seriously, I kept waiting for a Keystone Kop to barge in with a cucumber in his hand.