After first denying that his 7-week-old marriage is permanently stuck in the septic tank on the Girls Gone Wild bus, titty pimp Joe Francis has now confirmed that the rumor is true and his one-minute wife Christina McLarty has quit his ass for good. Joe issued a statement of words to UsWeekly which is almost the exact same message that Ryan Reynolds and ScarJo left on all of our voicemails after their marriage ended. This is ScarRey’s statement from earlier this month:
“After long and careful consideration on both our parts, we’ve decided to end our marriage. We entered our relationship with love and it’s with love and kindness we leave it. While privacy isn’t expected, it’s certainly appreciated.”
And this is Joe’s:
“After careful and thoughtful consideration on both our parts, Christina and I have mutually decided to end our relationship. We entered into our relationship with love and it’s with love and kindness that we leave it. We wish each other the best for the future.”
HAHAHAHAHA. That shit is the best. So much “thoughtful consideration” was put into their break-up that they couldn’t even push out another ounce of “thoughtful consideration” for their exit statement so they just COPY AND PASTED that bitch! But there’s still a glaring typo. Christina didn’t enter with love. Bitch entered DRUNK AS FUCK and is now leaving completely sober, scarred for life, with broken knuckles (from punching the wall instead of punching Joe’s Everlast-brand face) and a future filled with therapy bills and Silkwood showers.