But We Hardly Knew Her!

I am extremely disappointed with myself that I’ve never met Sebastian Bach’s fantastically glamour flower of a wife before, and we’re meeting for the first time under sad circumstances too.

All of the embalming fluid that Sebastian Bach drinks to keep his face looking like cold death must’ve went straight to his brains, because for some bizarre reason he is divorcing his beautiful wife of 18 years, Maria Bierk. Sebastian had this to say to TMZ about their split:

“We have tried to work things out for the sake of our family but it has become apparent that our differences at this point are irreconcilable. In 2011 we go our separate ways.”

How in the hell is Sebastian going to let a woman go who looks like a delicate pussy willow that only blooms on the planet Apollonia once a year? Something ain’t right. I mean, look at this picture from 2005. When you meet an elegant goddess who wears lace chokers out in public after 1996, you hold on to her tightly and do whatever it takes to keep her in your life! They are a rare and ravishing breed.

LACE CHOKER! Sebastian Bach needs a crash course in recognizing SHEER BEAUTY, because he obviously doesn’t know anymore. LACE CHOKER!!!