That wheezy old queen Rupert Everett has stumbled onto the stage with a sloshy martini in one hand and an ashy cigarette in the other to serve us another spoon full of his piping hot cunt nectar. Rupert’s face looks like a grandpa’s wrinkly testicle and he’s just as itchy on the inside. Thank the fuck for that, because I do love a good bitchy quote from Rupert. And this time Rupert is going on about how Hollywood is still homophobic and how it’s a shame that Jennifer Aniston is the epitome of a flop queen and yet she’s still embraced by the powers that be. Pull up a ripped velvet stool and breathe in the smoke that Rupert exhaled to BBC’s Radio 4:
On how even though you can’t spell “show business” without glitter and sequins, it’s still a straight world: “I think show business is ideally suited for heterosexuals, it’s a very heterosexual business, it’s run mostly by heterosexual men, and there’s a kind of pecking order. I think the position of women is a pretty difficult one in show business. If you look at the idea of a drunk women in show business on the skids at the age of 50, and a drunken man in show business on the skids, the drunken man gets an awful amount of support, and the women is a slut.”
On how the system is biased: “The audience has a completely perception of the performers than the business… But the business is what makes the stars, really. There are lots of women and lots of men in the business that the powers that be decide are the right people and they’ll stand with them for quite a long time.”
On Jennifer Aniston: “Like Jennifer Aniston will just have one too many total flops. But she’s still a member of that club. And she will still manage to — like a star forming in the universe — a whole lot of things swirling around and suddenly solidifying into yet another vital tasteless romcom: a little glitter next to the Crab Nebula.”
There is a crusty layer of truth on top of the shit that comes out of Rupert’s mouth, but maybe just maybe he can’t get a job because not everyone is like us. Not everyone loves a bitter old bitch around them all the time. Sad, but true. I mean, take what Rupert said about sad ole’ Jennifer Aniston. If Rupert simply played sweet by buttering Aniston up, she probably would’ve instantly fell in love with him and taken him in as her gay husband. Then while Aniston was out earning millions of dollars for starring in those horrific romcoms that always find their way to the bottom of my Netflix queue, Rupert could’ve leisurely lounged in the yard of her mansion while picking a wedgie out of the South American pool boy’s ass. Rupert could’ve had it all!!!!!