Massengill bottles spontaneously popped the day the douchebag of all douches Joe Francis of Girls Gone Wild married his girlfriend Christina McLarty in a civil ceremony in Mexico almost two months ago. At the time, Joe pretty much tried to crown himself the new gay rights leader when he said that they wouldn’t partake in a traditional marriage ceremony until their gay and lesbian friends can. Basically, Joe was just protecting his shit by throwing a rainbow flag around it. But that was definitely a good move, because after only two months, Joe’s marriage to Christina has been roofied and left on the stained carpet of a Super 8 motel. Radar says that Christina has moved out of their Bel Air mansion and is living with her mother.
The source says that they’re not sure if Christina’s going to move back in with Joe, but the way things look right now their marriage is headed straight for divorce. Joe was apparently talking about the split at the Kardashian family Christmas party, “He was talking about the details of the separation openly while at the Kardashian holiday party. Christina moved out a bit after Thanksgiving.”
Joe denied the story to Radar and then he asked to see their tits.
Let’s say this shit is true, then Joe should be proud of himself because his marriage lasted twice as long as any of us thought it would! I mean, just think of having to restrain your fists every single morning from wanting to punch Joe in his highly punchable face after waking up to him? There’s not enough Valium, praying or Xanax in the world to control that urge. It’s as much of a natural instinct as farting in the tub to make a water bubble. Christina probably had to check out before she chewed her damn fists off. So Joe should really give himself a nice pat on the back for proving us all wrong. And by pat on the back, I mean punch to his own face.