Who Is White Oprah Planning To Sue Today?

Patty Hearst’s daughter Lydia is all set to play a spoiled movie actress who fills her nostrils with the bad shit and has been in rehab about as many times as she’s drunkenly crashed into parked cars in a film called Dogs in Pocketbooks. The description of Lydia’s character is pretty much what the foreword on Lindsay Lohan’s psychiatric file reads like, so every bitch with a brain cell figures that shit is based on her. Well, when anybody tries to mess with the pristine Lohan name, White Oprah pulls her head out of the truck stop bathroom toilet and immediately calls her lawyers. Bitch did it with Glee, and now she’s doing it with this mess. White Oprah fired this statement off to TMZ:

“The new movie is definitely based on Lindsay’s likeness. We have a very strong case. Anyone bringing negativity will be dealt with accordingly.”

White Oprah’s lawyer Stephanie Ovadia adds that the movie is using LiLo’s likeness without paying up.

Many of us say that White Oprah has the mothering skills of a guppy, but this proves that she does have a maternal bone in the dehydrated mound of ground up hyena meat she calls her body. I mean, White Oprah probably read the words “coked up mess of a dumb slut” and immediately spewed out dollar sign-shaped tears before shouting, “That’s my baby!” See, a mother always knows her child.