Alanis Morisette Is A Mom!

December 27, 2010 / Posted by:

Alanis Morissette’s vagina popped out an extra special Christmas gift this year! A gift that will fart in her hand when she tries to change his diaper and let out a dream-murdering cry for nipple every time she closes her eyes. “Did this come with a gift receipt?” – Me if I ever get that same gift.

People reports that Alanis and her dude Souleye (We all STILL can’t with that name) now have a baby boy in their lives. Alanis birthed out her new baby friend on Christmas Day. Her rep issued this statement of words:

“Alanis Morissette and Mario ‘Souleye’ Treadway welcomed a baby boy, Ever Imre Morissette-Treadway, on Dec. 25th. All are healthy and happy.”

I was expecting Alanis to name her kid something like Henna Hemp Black Fly Chardonnay, so Ever Imre is pretty much as normal as she gets. And I would feel sort of bad for Ever for having to live a childhood where his birthday is constantly overshadowed by Christmas (meaning: not as many presents), but Alanis’ got that Jagged Little Pill money, so he won’t have to worry about that shit.

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