Who Wants To Kiss It And Make It Feel Better?

Hugh Jackmeoff almost lost his eyeball when he zip lined right into a stage light during Oprah’s show, and today Elizabeth Hurley’s one-time side piece Shane Warne almost fractured his dick bone when he threw a ball at him. And as soon as Hugh grabbed at his groin in pain, a dozen so-called nurses ran forward claiming that their saliva contains healing properties.

Who is trying to destroy Hugh? They tried to blind him and now they’ve tried to make him literally unfuckable by almost fracturing his crotch. Although, you can still hump on his crotch cast. But seriously, since Hugh was most likely wearing a cup, there was no damage to the goods and his peen can swing another day! But his overdramatic groin grab is still a wonderful belated Christmas gift.

And here’s Hugh and his luscious beard leaving a gym in Sydney the other day.