White Oprah Would Never Say That!

White Oprah is waving her favorite coke-scoopin’ finger at Dawn Holland, the chemical dependency technician at Betty Ford who got into it with Lindsay Lohan, for sprinkling lies all over the incident report. Dawn claims that in the middle of her war with the little cokey who can’t, LiLo called up White Oprah about taking a breathalyzer test. Dawn’s side of the story is that White Oprah told her precious child to just say no to that shit. But White Oprah says she never said that. Yes, White Oprah was most likely tanked and lying half-face first in an ash try outside of Bennigan’s during the call, but as far as she knows she didn’t say that! White Oprah defended herself to TMZ:

“I stand behind my daughter 100% … the whole thing with the woman is a little sketchy. With all the fabulous employees they have, it’s unfortunate that someone with this kind of background gets through. I stand behind Betty Ford. It is such a fabulous facility. They have been nothing but great. They really helped my daughter and changed my life, too.”

The “background” White Oprah is referring to is the accusations by Dawn Holland’s ex-husband that she once beat his ass when they were still married. White Oprah does have a point, though (no, she doesn’t have a point, though). How can Betty Ford let someone like that get through? Just like how can a delusional enabling shriveled pimp who would sell her child’s internal organs for a menthol be allowed to raise a living thing that breathes?