Hot Slut Of The Day!

December 23, 2010 / Posted by:

Chaser, a border collie from South Carolina who knows the names of 1,022 toys making her the dog with the largest vocabulary. That we know of, anyway. The Daily Mail did not test Khloe Kardashian by press time.

6-year-old Chaser spent 3 years working with her psychologist owner John Pilley and Professor Allison Reid to see how many words she could learn. Damn. Maybe I should hire Chaser to copy edit my shit.

Dr. Pilley, who is also Chaser’s owner, spent 4 to 5 hours a day repeating the name of a toy over and over again until it burned into her brain. Chaser not only knows words like “sunshine” and “tentacle,” but she can also organize them according to function and shape. Most children don’t learn how to do that until they’re at least 3 years old.

They are still teaching Chaser more words and regularly test her on the ones she knows. Researchers throw 20 toys into a pile and ask Chaser to fetch the right one when they call out its name. Out of 838 tests conducted during the past 3 years, Chaser’s average is 18/20. Chaser also recognizes when a new toy gets thrown into the mix and can point it out with her nose.

Dr. Pilley put it like this: “We wanted to see if there was a limit to the number of words a dog could understand, and if they could understand the name of an object rather than just respond to a command related to an object, such as fetch. We’re not saying this means dogs can learn language in the same way children do, but it does show they are capable of learning many more words than might have been thought.

Here’s a short clip of Chaser at work:

Yeah, but Chaser still licks her asshole with her tongue, SO THERE! Wait, what’s that you say? I’d lick my own asshole too if my spine was made of Silly Putty? And I barely know 1,022 words myself? Point taken.

But seriously, this is some No Dog Left Behind shit! Dogs learning words does make me a little nervous, because this means I have to go into the other room whenever I want to talk shit about mine, but then again this could be a good thing. Now I can tell my dog to fetch me a bag of Fritos from the corner deli so that I never EVER have to leave my apartment! Yes, he’ll eat half of the bag and may or may not throw a mouse head in there before he brings it back to me, but I can work with that.

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