Dr. Drew Didn’t Mean To Call Angelina Jolie A Heroin Addict

December 22, 2010 / Posted by:

When Dr. Drew called St. Angie Jo a heroin addict whose relationship with Brad Pitt will eventually end in a nuclear explosion that will turn the Great Pyramids to dust and cause the oceans to flood onto land, he was only speaking hypothetically and says his words were never supposed to be seen by public eyes. So basically, a naked Brangeloonie duct taped themselves to a homemade cross in front of Dr. Drew’s house and refused to move until he said he was sowwy. Or maybe Maddox threw the severed head of one of Jennifer Aniston’s Beanie Babies on Dr. Drew’s front porch. Note to Maddox: Dr. Drew got the message.

Dr. Drew tells Radar that his words were taken out of context and he was speaking in a hypothetical exercise and merely used Brangie as an example. HYPOTHETICALLY! You know, just like how Brangie’s lawyers threatened Dr. Drew by saying that hypothetically St. Angie could send her army of Brangeloonies to his house to drag him down to the dungeon of Malchiah where he’ll spend the rest of his days in MISERABLE LONELINESS! Hypothetically, of course.

Here’s Dr. Drew’s apology and explanation:

“These comments were taken completely out of context (and) they were never meant to be printed. I do not know Brad or Angelina (and) I certainly don’t want to be saying things that could be perceived as hurtful for them, or harmful for them in any way. I’m deeply concerned and apologetic and apologize for these comments that were taken out of context.

I don’t know these people, I don’t know the facts. Literally as though one was speculating, just going through an exercise of speculation and not some sort of analysis that was supposed to be factual or for public discourse… I could not be more upset and disturbed that these things were printed as though I was making some sort of categorical analysis of people I really don’t know. I wish them the best, I hope they do well, enjoy the holidays with their kids and have a nice time. I wish them no ill, believe me… I’m sorry these comments were taken out of context and made public.”

But you probably didn’t read one word above, because you’re too busy staring at Dr. Drew’s peen lips print in the picture above. It looks like it’s trying to spit out water.

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