Spider-Man The Musical Is Cursed

December 21, 2010 / Posted by:

It looks like the opening night performance for Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark will now be held at Lenox Hill Hospital’s physical therapy room. I mean, this $65 million mess is turning into Larry H. Parker’s workers comp wet dream come true. In case you don’t already know, the Julie Taymor-directed and U2-penned (Ugh, I know) Broadway musical has delayed its opening a couple of times due to creative changes and has claimed 3 performer injuries. Well, add another one to the list, because the show was cut short last night after stunt actor Christopher Tierney (who does the flying stunts for the Spider-Man character) fell from a platform into the pit when the rope holding him snapped. Okay, when even the ropes are pulling some “I QUIT THIS BITCH” shit, it’s time to shut it down and leave that flying crap to the Cirque du Soleil people.

The New York Times says that towards the very very end of the show, Mary Jane falls into the pit and Spider-Man is supposed to jump down to save her. But instead of the two rising triumphantly from the pit, Mary Jane screamed and started crying like the critics will be on opening night. The house lights immediately went up and everyone was told to go home. 911 was called and Christopher was taken to Bellevue Hospital Center by ambulance. Christopher gave the thumbs up as he was shuffled into the ambulance, and apparently he suffered minor injuries and will be released soon. Clip of Christopher free falling to pain below (courtesy of TMZ):

This Faces of Death shit hasn’t even opened yet and people are already bleeding for it. It’s not right when the cast members are updating their wills, taking out bigger life insurance policies, calling their loved ones before every show to say “I love you…” and making the sign of the cross over their faces when they sashay out on stage. Don’t ever say “break a leg” to a Spider-Man cast member, because it will probably happen.

On a positive note, if Julie Taymor’s main goal is to lure Nascar fans to Broadway, it’s working.

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