One of the rules of life is that if you’re ever in the pitch black darkness, you never ever stick something in your eye without licking it first to make sure it’s not going to leave you looking like you should be barking at the crew to swab the poop deck while a damn ass parrot squawks on your shoulder. Zsa Zsa Gabor’s husband Prince Von Anhalt did not follow this rule and it almost cost him his eyeball.
Prince Von A-Hole’s spokeswhore tells CNN that he will be wearing an eye patch for the next two weeks because he accidentally squirted his eye with Zsa Zsa’s nail glue instead of Visine. Prince Von A-Hole’s excuse is that “it was dark” and “it was a stupid thing to do.”
This is obviously a sign. It was only a few months ago when the prince’s pie hole almost went mute after a bee flew into his mouth and stung the shit out of his throat. And now he almost goes blind from his own dumbfoolery? What’s next? Dude is going to stick a pair of baby black widows in his ear holes instead of headphones? Someone is trying to make sure that Prince Von A-Hole won’t be able to text or talk out messages to the media. To which I say to that someone, TRY HARDER!