When dollar sign-less Kesha strolls down the toilet paper aisle at Rite-Aid and eyes a succulent bundle of Charmin on the shelf, her stomach growls, she licks her lips and she thinks about how she can’t wait to get it home and nibble on it raw. You see, Keisha is addicted to eating toilet paper and she let TLC’s cameras document her love for unused ass wipes for their show My Strange Addiction. Terrence Howard is so confused right now.
You know, I’ve been known to nibble on raw Top Ramen noodles during an HSN marathon or two, so I can’t judge Kesha, but I still can’t believe she eats that toilet paper completely plain. No Lawry’s Seasoned Salt, no hot sauce, no ketchup, no ranch dressing, no Fluff, no Nutella, no Molly McButter… NOTHING! Gross. If Kesha really wants to rock her world, she should Top Chef that shit by sticking a slice of ham between two pieces of tp. Or go gourmet by shoving a slice of salami between two Always pads before grilling it on a George Foreman. A maxipadnini, if you will. Seriously, eating a raw piece of toilet paper is like eating something out of Fishsticks Paltrow’s kitchen. No thank you.
However, at least when Kesha does her business her toilet paper-covered shits wipe her own asshole so she doesn’t have to!