Sam Lutfi Is Baaaaack!

December 17, 2010 / Posted by:

I’m already feeling ill from overdosing on vitamins and that Sambucol crap so that I don’t catch the flu that is screwing everyone’s life, and seeing this old picture of Sam Lutfi’s nasty ass with a bag of juicy deliciousness in his hand is not helping. Oh, In-N-Out, why do you have to be such an easy whore with no standards (Future flash: My mother will say the same thing to me over whole wheat crepes when she comes to visit next week). So…

Yesterday, TMZ told us about how Betty Ford has moved Lindsay Lohan into a super secret private location after she kept getting threatening calls and text messages from an unknown stalker. My guess was that on the other side of the split screen was White Oprah (or Michael Lohan) in a Scream mask. But apparently, I am wrong. TMZ has it on good authority that a diarrhea blast from the past is behind the calls. Sam Lutfi has crawled out from under a pile of Brit Brit’s pink wig, empty Frapp cups, tufts of London’s hair and Carla to go after Lindsay Lohan!

Sam, who Daddy Spears blames for drugging his little Cheetoling, has been regularly talking to Michael Lohan about who knows what. Sam has also texted LiLo as “Mike from TMZ” and warned her to stay away from White Oprah. Sam denies all of this and claims that LiLo’s handlers also handle Brit Brit’s business and they are simply out to git him for good. LiLo’s lawyer has warned Sam to stop texting LiLo and to stay away from her.

Sam Lutfi is a creepy crazy (exhibit A: he talks to Michael Lohan) who would shave and lude-up a kitten if it put him in good graces with the death eaters, but he has a point about LiLo needing to stay away from White Oprah. When everybody including a life sucker with bloated Paladinoface thinks you should step away from White Oprah, maybe it’s time to explore that thought.

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