Not to be outdone by Taylor Swift and Jakey Gyllenhaal, Joe Jonas and his face merkin of the moment Ashley Greene held hands while making their way into The Lion restaurant in NYC last night. The only real problem I have with this relationship is that it seems like as soon as Joe Jonas welcomed Ashley into his life with a simple signature on a contract, his jeans have gotten baggier and baggier. Joe’s jeans used to be so tight that you could practically hear its threads screaming for mercy with every strut he took. Joe’s jeans used to be so tight that you could perfectly see if his butt cheek was Tajazzled or not. And now look at this shit! Ashley is CHANGING HIM!
Joe’s jeans are quickly going from “sucking on to his ass as though his b-hole is the portal to denim heaven” to almost hitting the ground. It won’t be long before Joe’s jeans are sliding down his bubble butt. Although…..now that I think about it, maybe that’s not such a bad thing. Then Joe can take his sweet sexiness to the next level by working one of those new saggy pants garter belts:
Yeah, forget everything I said about his jeans not being tight enough. Sag faster, Joe!