Hot Slut Of The Day!

December 11, 2010 / Posted by:

Tofutti Klein (as played by Lisa Beth Ross), the Pia Zadora-esque creature of the 80s from Overboard who kept stupid Grant’s yacht afloat with her beauty and grace! Tofutti’s cameo lasted only a few seconds but it was thee most IMPORTANT few seconds in the entire movie because she uttered the iconic line: TOFUTTI KLEIN.

I wonder what became of Tofutti Klein. My guess is that after a failed marriage to a health food tycoon and a brief career in late-night cable softcore porn, Tofutti was about to end it all by jumping off an overpass at the 405 freeway. That’s where she met Marie, Snobby Saleswoman #2 from Pretty Woman, who was also about to jump after she had been fired from her umpteenth sales job for being….well….a snobby bitch. The two had a heart-to-heart and spilled their feelings about life all over each other. And as the sun came up, the two shared a delicate kiss and a new love was born! They later moved to Vermont to run an alpaca farm together.

One summer night as they sprawled out under the stars with their sleeping alpaca friends, Marie revealed to Tofutti that the real reason why she was such an insufferable bitch is because she’s lactose intolerant and couldn’t enjoy her second favorite thing in life (after Tofutti, of course): ICE CREAM!

So Tofutti called up her ex-husband and the two worked on a sweet frozen treat that Marie could enjoy without her bowels exploding. Tofutti named the sweet frozen token of her love for Marie “Moorie Cuties!” The bitchiness melted out of Marie after she took the first bite of Tofutti’s love dedication to her. Marie was so touched, but asked Tofutti if they could change the name of it. Marie wanted to name it “Tofutti” so it could combine the two things she loved the most. And the rest is HISTORY!

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