Mother Winslow, Come And Get This Child

Darius McCrary (known as Eddie Winslow from Family Matters to you and me) has been ordered to stay at least 100 yards away from his ex-wife Karrine “Superhead” Steffans (known as the ass dust aficionado to you and me) after he allegedly choked her out and beat her with a belt in front of their 12-year-old son. Beat with a belt? How very abuelita-esque of Eddie.

Karrine is asking the judge to make the temporary restraining order she has against Eddie Winslow permanent, because she claims he brought the violence on her several times. Not only did he belt whip her last February, but she says he also choked and shoved her into a car outside of a hotel in Los Angeles last month. The two will go to court next week to hear the judge’s decision.

Eddie Winslow and Superhead aren’t strangers to filing restraining orders against each other. Eddie filed one against Superhead a year before they were married, because he says she slapped him in the face and attacked his car. Can’t these two just stop beating on each other and remember the love they share for butt beads? When all else fails, think of the butt beads.

But Urkel deserves the blame for this. When Eddie Winslow stepped into the transformation chamber, stupid ass Urkel probably set it for “Chris Brown” instead of “responsible and polite citizen of the world.” Yes, Urkel, you DID do that!