A-Rod And Kelly Bensimon Might Be Doing It

The Real Housewives of Bellevue’s Kelly Bensimon is built like a Clan of the Cave Bear extra, and getting hit over the head with a club makes A-Rod’s nipples howl, so it was only a matter of time before these two got together. While A-Rod’s usual piece Cameron Diaz was off promoting that Green Hornet shit, he was rubbing his satchels of gold all over Kelly Bensimon’s hide. This is according to Page Six.

At a party for Art Basel in Miami the other night, Kelly was all ready to hunt and gather A-Rod’s nuts and berries. A witness type said, “He had his arm ’round Kelly and they were flirting. “While Alex was recently seen with Cameron Diaz again, they’re not back together. He is single.”

Cameron has nothing to worry about. I’m sure this Kelly and A-Rod thing was only a one-night party. You know, they went back to A-Rod’s hotel room where they huffed, gruffed, growled and blew all over each other. A guest in the room next door called the front desk thinking two bears broke in and were fighting over the last bag of jelly beans in the mini-bar. Animal Control arrived, tasered A-Rod’s peen out of Kelly, dropped a net on them and then threw them into the back of a truck where they continued to hump on each other. When their cage doors were opened in the morning, they went their separate ways. And that’s that!