The overcrowded playground that is Twitter is now filled with a dozen fame whoring zombies furiously feeding on the “OMGZ I MISSED U” comments left by their followers, because they have been released from their digital coffins! The Keep a Child Alive’s “Buy Life” campaign has magically reached their goal of $1,000,000 after five and a half days. Detective La Toya just whipped out her monocle, because just this morning they were only at the $300,000 mark.
Did Usher erase his guilt from cheating over the weekend by cutting a check? Did Pimp Mama Kris pass Alicia a $700,000 money order after Kim Kardassian busted into a seizure from not being able to share every second of her life with her 5 million followers?! Did the fact that they changed the minimum donation amount from $10 to $1 have a major effect on that shit? Who knows. But now we’ll go back to knowing what Kim stuffed her mouth hole with for lunch and what kind of condiment Khloe Kardashian is rubbing on her sascrotch to make it pop. All is
NOT well in the Twitterverse again!
UPDATE: TMZ says that a pharmaceutical mogul named Stewart Rahr breathed life back into Alicia Keys (and others) by donating $500,000.