In Other Words, The Saint Wants Everyone To STFU

December 2, 2010 / Posted by:

The Academy has already awarded St. Angie Jo with Best Director and Best Screenplay Oscars even though her movie hasn’t even finished filming, because they know that everything she touches turns into holy water-covered golden drops from heaven. But not everyone feels that way. There’s been some whispering that St. Angie’s movie is about a Bosnian rape victim who falls in love with her attacker. Awkward.

Some Bosnian rape victims think St. Angie has an “ignorant attitude towards victims” and knows almost nothing about the ethnic conflict. They have thrown hate at St. Angie’s halo in the form of a letter to the UN asking for her to be stripped of her goodwill ambassador title. While promoting that Tourist movie in Paris last night, Angie put on her all-knowing GOD VOICE (aka spoke into a voice changer set to “Morgan Freeman“) and defended her movie:

“There’s one person who has a gripe. The absolute majority of the people, population, the cast, prime minister, president have been extremely supportive.”

Angie asked everyone to stop throwing heads of lettuce at her until they have seen the movie. FYI: Angie uses those heads of lettuce to make a salad to give to starving orphans who are a breath away from checking into her wing up in heaven. Yup, Angie turns hate into loooove.

But seriously, I love how she said “one person” has a gripe. ANGIE, the glow from your halo is fucking with your eyesight! It’s a group of Bosnian woman! A group usually means more than one. But I see what that shifty saint did there. Angie is trying to insinuate that the letter was written on Cathy stationary and covered with cat hair and dried up lonely tears. Angie probably thinks that the letter started with: “Dear UN, What that skank trollop Angie is doing to Bosnia is really uncool….” Nice try, Angie!

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